Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Does She Like Me?

I absolutely love when teachers pop-in in my class after work! I hear many secrets, juicy details, life stories, dilemmas and, of course, dating stories. This story started last week when a younger teacher popped in to voice his wonderings about an upcoming date.

"Do you know how to salsa dance?"
"Just little."
"I have a date with this girl that I met."
"Do you know how to salsa dance?"
"No, but I guess I will learn at the class."
"I'm sure you will, and I'm sure it will be fun."

"How many dates should I have before I know if it will get romantic?"

Seriously? He is asking me that question? At this point I am wondering if he thinks that I go on dates regularly. Seriously? Perhaps he has suffered--or is suffering--some short term memory loss, as I have never told him anything about me dating or my dates. Or, is he just thinking that because I am older that I have this vast box of dating knowledge that I can open up when needed?

"So, I need to think about if I can move this great friendship into something a bit more romantic. I mean, we haven't even kissed yet, and it has been three dates already."
"I'm sure you will figure it out."
"I mean we have a great time. And she is beautiful!"
"I'm sure you will figure that out."

Was I really offering him any new intelligence? I'm not even sure I had time to open my box of dating knowledge.

Fast forward to yesterday.

"How was your salsa class?"
"It was great! We had a great time."
"Did you learn to salsa?"
"Well, enough to move my feet a little bit. I think I really like this girl."
"Wow, good for you." (What should I have said???)
"Afterward at the bar I told her that I like her."
"You did?"
"I did, but now I am not sure what to do. Maybe I need to step up my game."
"New challenge for you?" (Was that an appropriate response?)
"Sort of. I mean, she is making me work. She is definitely not boring. I mean, I need to figure out if she likes me and how I can move this "__ship" into more romantic. We haven't even kissed yet." (Did I need to know this?)
"I'm sure you can figure out what to do." (Seriously!? What am I supposed to say? Offer ideas? Or just a listening ear?)
"Yeah, I guess I have to. Okay, gym is waiting, see you tomorrow!"

Obviously, I wasn't able to offer any earth shattering advice on dating. I think him coming to chat was just meant to be a brainstorming session where he was thinking aloud. I hope he was--or will be--able to figure out what he needs to do next. As for me, his drop-in gave me a fun break and an idea for a slice. Did it give me ideas about dating? Well, I did think that going to a salsa class would be fun (just not with him:)

When did you last salsa dance?


27 comments:

  1. Jaana,
    You did good! I think he needed a listening ear! I have never salsa danced but would love to take some dance classes!

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    1. Thanks Amy! I should really think about dance classes as well.

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  2. Having two left feet I have never salsa danced nor do I plan to. I am a klutz on the dance floor...just ask my wife. I think what you did was just right. It sounds like he just needed someone to listen to him, maybe give him the courage to move on.

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    1. It will be fun to see what happens with this girl. I'm sure he will keep me posted:-)

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  3. One of the things I miss most about being school-based is the drive-by conversations and peeks into how the other half lives. Drat, now you've made me miss it more! Love your use of dialogue - I can almost see your flabbergast!

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  4. That was so sweet! It's interactions like this that make our places of work pleasant and meaningful. Bravo!

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  5. Sometimes all one needs is someone else who listens. You were a good listener. Your recording of the situation is funny - like from a comedy.

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    1. I really did feel like I was in a comedy! I mean it is funny that anyone would talk to me about their dating dilemmas:-)

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  6. Very fun to read! And better you than me to handle the situation!!

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    1. Let's see what next week brings!

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  7. Listening is the name of the game - just a sounding board. You said just the right things. He didn't really want any advice, just to be listened to. The closest I get to salsa is doing Zumba. Gotta learn more than move your feet!

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    1. I am not sure I would have the coordination for Zumba, but salsa might be doable.

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  8. You were kind to be a listening ear to him! It sounds like that's exactly what he needed. It's neat that even though you aren't super close, he trusts you enough to share this with you (even if you'd probably rather he didn't!). That speaks volumes about who you are, I think! :)

    I liked how you included both the dialogue between the two of you and your subsequent thoughts. It made for really interesting reading!

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    1. Thanks Laura! It is these kinds of conversations that keep life interesting at school!

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  9. Did you feel a bit junior high-ish? :-) You know the experts say talking deepens thinking, so he was able to work it out with you listening. Good job!

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    1. Elsie, it was a bit funny; little junior high-ish!

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  10. Jaana, I just love this slice. It is so real. I can envision the conversation and the tension in the room as he sought your "advice" not so much about salsa but about life, living, relationships. There are times when what we really need is a reflective listener....and he knew he has one in you!

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    1. I am waiting to hear chapter three of this story later this week!

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  11. This is so funny. I don't know what I would have said. You handled it well. He obviously feels comfortable around you and values your opinion. It's always funny when co-workers open up and you end up finding out more than you probably need to know :).

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    1. So now I am hooked! I want to know if she really does like him:)

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  12. This was not the slice I expected as you began but how juicy, that's for sure. Salsa dancing now that' something very cool to consider in the world we live in these days!!!

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  13. You must be a great listener. That is often what we need, someone to listen not always offer advice :D

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    1. Listening--especially when it is this good:-)

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  14. Jaana, this is funny, and makes me wonder what he did want, but also you must be a very good listener, and safe! My students and I took salsa lessons in Costa Rica-much fun!

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    1. I enjoy getting updates! Perhaps I should take a salsa class?

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