Wednesday, March 12, 2014

What Defines Family?


 



I am participating in the March Slice of Writing Challenge at Two Writing Teachers.


I am also linking up with Holley Gerth's blog on Wednesdays.




This past weekend as I was planning some of my writing for the week, I remembered all the blogs about families that I have been reading.
I was sad. My grandparents had all died before I was born. I came along late in my parents life as the only child. They are both gone now. So are my aunts and uncles. My husband died after only year and half of marriage. I was living on a different continent.

Years ago, I found an author that touched my life deeply with her books. Her name is Dee Henderson. I still remember reading the first book in the O'Malley series and feeling that I have found something truly special. Many times since reading that first book, I have been reminded that families are what we make them to be.

Let me explain:
The O'Malley series is about 7 children/young adults in a foster care system who decide that they will become each other's family, each others brothers and sisters. In the midst of their lives, they find love, God and plenty of struggles. But through all their struggles, they demonstrate their love and commitment to each other.

The Negotiator (O'Malley Series #1) The Truth Seeker (O'Malley Series #3) The Guardian (O'Malley Series #2) The Healer (O'Malley Series #5) The Protector (O'Malley Series #4) The Rescuer (O'Malley Series #6)

If you want to be encouraged and inspired, find these books. If you are struggling with the feeling of being alone and lonely, read these books and see how God is working in the lives of ordinary people. Ask yourself what it is that you could do to be that family for someone else.

Let me get back to my story for a bit. I live oceans away from my cousins and friends that I grew up with. I will never meet anyone at the grocery store that I went to school with. It would be a miracle to encounter someone speaking my first language at my local grocery store. My only daughter is currently also living overseas. I do not have a big kitchen or a large living room, and I definitely don't have a family room.

But I have a heart full of love. You are welcome for a cup of coffee or tea if that is your preference. I will cook for us, but you are welcome to help with the dishes. I will clean the kitchen table for us to sit, but please excuse the dust as I try to avoid seeing it. We can sit on the couch and chat, and I will even help you up if the lumps are holding onto you too tightly.

I have days that I am feeling lonely, but I know that I have friends who would drop everything if I called them and asked them for help. The O'Malley series keeps on reminding me that families are what we make them to be. My family might not be the ideal or traditional family, but it is my family. And I know that God loves my family just as much as He loves yours.

So, ask yourself today, could you include someone in your family (even if your family is just you)? Do you know someone who could use a family? Someone who could be invited for a coffee or dinner? Maybe a single parent? Or maybe it is the person next to you at church or synagogue. Or maybe it is the new teacher who lives really far from her/his family. Go the extra mile this week; spread some love with your family, and read an O'Malley book.

And when you are finished reading the books, pass them on!


25 comments:

  1. Jaana, I have tears in my eyes. I realize as I'm reading this that I have no idea where you live, but if we lived close (and maybe we do...I'm in Virginia), I'd come over for coffee and I'd bring cupcakes! I can relate to so much in this post. I am going to get the O'Malley books NOW. I have never heard of them and I can't wait to read them. Thank you for opening your heart and writing this beautiful post. I feel like you are a kindred spirit! Hoping that someday we can have that coffee! Sending you hugs today!!!

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    1. Michelle, we absolutely must have coffee one day. Let me know when you'll start reading the books. I'll re-read them with you!

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  2. Family is a term that should be for the people who are close to you and support you in your life, not just those related to you. Relations are not always family. BTW, I would never even notice any dust, I'd just enjoy the coffee and friend.
    Congrats on winning the comment challenge. That's a lot of reading and writing!

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    1. Thanks Elsie! The challenge came on a weekend that I was home!

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  3. I stopped by just wanting to say thank you for the support you showed the many slicers in comments, and I find this on family. I can see your struggle, but also your strength in sharing your heart with so many people who are far away but in other ways are living right beside you as you slice. Reading your thoughts connect me and you and if I were close by (I'm in far away California). So I'll sip my coffee in my dusty space and read your slices!

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    1. Thank you Julienne! I hope your day was sunny. Did you have your coffee outside?

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  4. Thanks for sharing this Henderson series with us. I am thankful for my church community -- they are liks family to me, and I would probably go crazy without them. I love the Scriptural promise in Psalms 68 that says God sets the lonely in families.

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    1. Lyli, that is beautiful! Thank you for reminding me about the Psalm!

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  5. Just wanted to congratulate you on winning the commenting challenge and I absolutely loved reading your entry! I am an adopted orphan who also cherishes many friendships as 'family'! I teach at an alternative high school and these books sound like they will be a perfect fit for my students! Thank you for your wonderful words today and for the reading recommendations!

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    1. Thank you Edith for stopping by and for your kind words!

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  6. I wish we lived in the same town, Jaana! Lovely slice.

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    1. Maybe we will get to have coffee one day. Michelle mentioned maybe meeting at NCTE this year.

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  7. Jaana, upon reading your piece, I find myself thinking of a picture story book that addresses that essential question, 'What is family?' The title is 'TANGLEWOOD' by Margaret Wild. Writers share, so do readers. Thank you for your piece and a reminder of the importance of family.

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    1. Thank you Alan. I will be checking the book!

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  8. Beautifully and lovingly said, Jaana. You're always welcome to come visit Colorado! Like others, wish you lived down the block! I have muffins today! I had a wonderful extended family growing up, and love my memories of that time, but now we in my 'smaller' family also have a good time, just different, and I like that too. Thanks for your thoughtful words.

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    1. Linda, one of my overseas friends moved to Colorado, so you never know. I've been wanting to visit Colorado for a long time!

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  9. What a beautifully written post that you have shared today. You have such a big heart which reminds me a lot of my sister! It seems that each day I learn more and more about you. If you ever need a post idea, I would love to hear what brought you here too the states.

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    1. I'll have to send you a link to an old post, but maybe it is also time for a new one! Thank you Leigh Anne!

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  10. What a heartfelt, lovely post. I wish we lived closer - would love to sit and chat and visit often. I miss my lose friends. Family means so many different things to different people. I have stepchildren and steptgrandchildren - but they are family.

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    1. Thank you Beverly! Perhaps we will get to meet one day!

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  11. I don't usually comment on posts with lots of comments already - but I wanted to comment even this morning when I first read you post - and I would be commenting now even if I was number 250! Your recommendation on the O'Malley books is so noted and I will order them before I go to sleep tonight. But, your comments on the definition of family are the reason I am writing. So many families are torn by the ravages of feuds and discord where people, humans as we all, cannot let go of their individual needs and wants. I know that family is not just blood and genes but also love and caring. I have a niece and a fellow teacher who I now consider daughters by other mothers. I know that I have "mothered" and loved on lots of kids over the years and made a difference in their lives. I am sure that your mothering is exponential....cause....you have touched my heart with this post...I really do wish we lived closer as I too would love to sit cup to cup and share stories....but thanks to 21st century technology, we'll have to make do with this forum....you have touched my heart.

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    1. Anita, thank you. A great example of your mothering and teachering is Chris and his father in your post today! Families can be made in creative ways. Thank you for taking the time to leave me this heartfelt comment.

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  12. Wow, Jaana, what a touching & inspiring post. I never knew how "alone" you have sometimes found yourself, because you always exude such happiness and positive feelings! You share so much about your daughter and friends that your life always seemed so full to me! From your other posts, I could see that your friends are like family to you, and I enjoyed reading more about your philosophy and reasons for that here. Thanks for sharing these beautiful thoughts!

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    1. Jennifer, thank you for your kind words! Feeling alone is not always a bad thing. But there are times when I do miss my family! Perhaps that is the reason I love reading books about family.

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  13. I like your list. I think a list works so well sometimes for us to think while writing. And I can relate to so many of the things on your list. Thank you for reading my post today.

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